The Day I Lost My Legs

I was fighting an awful double ear infection. Pain ripped through both of my ears and down my jawline. It had been several months of this. Do you ever feel “raw” from lack of sleep? I sure did. The pain was keeping me awake at night and I didn’t feel like I could get any rest. So many days spent in prayer crying out to God to just get me through this.

I had been to several doctor visits and had been on several rounds of antibiotics. Nothing was getting this stuff cleared up. And now I was suffering hearing loss in both ears. Things were not looking good.

A final doctor visit. The doctor put me on one of the most heavy antibiotics they had. But he made an unfortunate mistake and put me on DOUBLE the normal dose that should have been prescribed.

The pharmacist overlooked the mistake, as well. By the fourth pill in the damage had been done. I was experiencing tendon rupture all over my body.

The pain was almost unbearable. Several days commenced of me just trying to breathe deep and speaking in tongues asking God to just spare my life. Writhing in pain. It felt like rubber bands snapping all over my body inside of me. I felt my body losing strength. It was a scary feeling to say the least.

I will never forget one day into the antibiotics, I was attempting to walk through a store in town and felt my legs weaken. I knew I needed to leave the store and go home immediately. Only God, Himself, got me through that car ride home.

I went through two days of unbearable pain on my own just hoping it would pass. When I woke up the third day I knew I needed to ask for help. It was either an ambulance ride or a family member driving me to the hospital, but I knew I had to go. I made that fateful call and was rushed to the ER. We brought the pill bottle I was prescribed with us and the ER doctor was SHOCKED at the dosage. I was given some meds for nausea and was told there was nothing they could do. She couldn’t tell me a timeline on if/when I would be better. She just said to stay off of my legs for a few weeks and wished me the best.

All of my body was temporarily affected, by my legs took it the worst. I suddenly found myself in a position where I couldn’t walk or bear weight on my legs. My muscles had atrophied, and I was left feeling helpless.

My apartment began to feel like a prison cell. Day after day went by where I could not leave or be independent for myself. The devil came in and tried to whisper lies: “What if you never walk again? Some christian you are…if you were a true believer you wouldn’t even be in this mess. You are such a burden on the people around you. You are going to lose your job. You will never recover from all of this.”

Then the mental warfare began. So. Much. Mental. Warfare. Fighting against the lies of the enemy. Proclaiming the GOD report over my situation. Praying prayers so deep that I felt like Hannah in the Bible-words were coming out, but they just weren’t making a lot of sense because I was in such deep travail.

Then the judgement started to come from the people around me. I could 100% identify with what Job must have felt like when his “Friends” started speaking into his life during the middle of the storm. Rather than words of encouragement and hope, I experienced many of those closest to me starting to make assumptions about me. Assuming the worst about me in my situation. Wondering what I must have “done” that God would allow this to happen to me. What terrible “sin” I must have committed. This list goes on and on…

I had two choices: I could give in and let the devil “win” and try to take my life, or I could fight. I chose to fight.

After my six weeks of “rest” where I was supposed to stay off of my feet, I was released from doctors to start physical therapy. They warned me that the pain would be brutal in the healing process, but that it was normal and necessary while my muscles were trying to re-gain strength. No one was really sure how much strength I would gain back or how long it would take. Doctors were simply hoping for the best.

A few weeks ago I started physical therapy. I went from not walking at all to being able to stand on one leg for short amounts of time, doing “squats”, bridges, walking on my own for short distances unassisted, etc. I was even able to take my first short drive in my car.

God is giving me a second chance at life. The devil tried to take me out, but it DID NOT WORK. Every single day is a treasure and I am so grateful for the FULL restoration that God is working me towards right now. You learn to appreciate the little things after going through a battle of this magnitude.

John 10:10 states that “The thief does not come except to steal, to kill, and to destroy. I come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

My friends: I want to remind you today. The THEIF is the source behind anything that steals, kills, or destroys from your life. It is not the will of God for you to suffer. GOD came that you might have LIFE and have it in abundance. He is truly your source of help in a time of need.

Sometimes God answers our prayers via miracles, and sometimes he answers us via healings that happen over time. My life is a “walking” miracle! And that story is still in progress.

There is a song by Bethel Music called “Too Good To Not Believe”. This song has been my anthem in this season. Part of the lyrics read: “Don’t you tell me He can’t do it! Don’t you tell me He can’t do it! After EVERYTHING I’ve seen, you’re too GOOD to not BELIEVE.”

My friends, I don’t know what type of “storm” that you are facing in your life, but you can COUNT on God’s goodness over your situation. He is too GOOD not to believe! If He says you are healed, you are healed. If He says he will restore, He will restore. If He says he will repay you for the years that the enemy stole, He WILL repay you for the years that the enemy tried to steal from you. He is a FAITHFUL God. Maybe your miracle didn’t happen instantly. Maybe it happened over time like mine has (and is continuing to). The Bible never promises that the “weapon” wouldn’t try to form against your life. It promises that it ultimately will not PROSPER. NEVER let the devil convince you that God is the source of your trials. He is GOOD. Actually, He is better than you could ever imagine!

Don’t you dare give up the fight today ladies and gents! God has a GOOD plan for your life (plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a HOPE and a future). You are a mighty weapon in God’s hands and your worship is your sword.

It made the devil angrier than ever when he tried his best to take you out, and you came out of the fire praising God and not even smelling like smoke! It made him furious that you allowed the storm to strengthen you to prepare you for greater blessing. It made him furious that you decided not to give up. And it made him even more furious that you shared your testimony to help encourage others to not give up in their own time of trails.

This is your FIGHT song! Take back your LIFE Song! Stand strong in the place of prayer today and do not overlook the seemingly “little” miracles that God is doing in your life today. Sometimes God moves all at once on our behalf, and sometimes He moves a little bit at at time in our lives daily. Believe in His faithfulness today. You are going to make it and your life is designed for IMPACT. Don’t lose hope. <3